EUI

I'm trying to coin a new phrase called "EUI" which stands for "Experimenting Under the Influence". I've got a theory that many great experiments and inventions were not successfully achieved until the scientist or inventor was completely hammered. My proof is an experiment I carried out tonight.....while Under the Influence, not quite hammered, but definitely UI.

I had dinner with some co-workers at a restaurant that is located on the West side of the Shinagawa train station, the "good side" of the tracks. My apartment lies a few blocks away on the East side of the station. After stumbling out of the restaurant, the quickest way back to my apartment is to cut through the station which is several city blocks long. As I entered the station at about 9:00 PM, I was amazed at the volume of people heading West through the station. I shouldn't have been that surprised as most of the corporate buildings lie East of the station and since people tend to work very late, in order to catch their homebound trains, they need to cross to the West side of the station where the main tracks are. In the morning it's just the opposite flow and when I need to get to the West-side tracks, I usually need to make my way to the side walls in order to make it past the mass exodus of people flooding out of the station. Not tonight though. It's amazing what a different thought process one has when UI.

Thus it was as I watched the oncoming tsunami of black suits that I decided to conduct a Fluid Dynamics experiment. Fluid being the multiple beers I downed in the restaurant and Dynamics being the decision to see whether I could walk straight up the center of the station against the flow of pedestrians without having someone run into me. Now, I will admit this experiment may be slightly biased based upon my size and the grim determination I had on my face to make it all the way through without contacting someone. I wish I had videotaped the experiment because it probably would have looked like a Humvee Wind Tunnel test. I almost made it all the way through but right before the exit I noticed an old woman with a walker on a collision course with me. She was trying to correct her course but she didn't have the strength to slide that walker fast enough to get out of the way. I felt a little guilty when I made contact. The forearm to her head I applied didn't help either but without it I would have strayed from my straight line. Alright, that's a bit of embellishment. The Japanese don't use walkers; it was more of a bamboo walking cane.

As any scientifically minded person would agree, I'll need to try and repeat this experiment multiple times in order to prove my theory. Next time to avoid the old ladies I'm thinking of acquiring a TAZER. I figure I can hit them at a distance and while they're shaking on the ground they should roll out of my path.

That's all for tonight. Everyone stay safe and out of my way.