Lost In Translation

Prior to reading this blog, you may want to read the last section of the Politically Incorrect Tokyo Observations blog. It’s definitely relevant to the following blog.

Last weekend was a pretty busy sightseeing and souvenir shopping weekend. One of the souvenir shops I had planned to visit was the Oriental Bazaar in Harajuku. You may also remember that Harajuku is the area I refer to in the Sunday Freak Show blog. I visited Harajuku on Saturday which is the less busy day and it was still packed with people. I made my way through the crowds and found the store which was only about three blocks from the train station. Great store, a lot of touristy type items but decent quality and a great selection. Some of the items I was looking to buy were kimonos and yukatas. A yukata is a cotton kimono usually worn in the summertime but also used in the onsens. I was looking to buy a kimono for Ellen and a yukata for myself. One nice thing this store offered was both metric and English measurements but the measurements were only listed for the polyester and cotton kimonos. For the silk kimonos, there was no measurement. They had several hanging on the wall and they all looked like the same size but I wanted to be sure. So looking around the room, I saw a store employee working the area. The employee was a young guy, probably early twenties, with dyed blonde, spiked hair which is not that uncommon in Tokyo and especially in Harajuku. He saw me approaching and I asked him, “eigo wo hanase masu ka” (Do you speak English?). In a clear American accent and lacking any masculine tones, he says “Yessssssss”. Dom Deluise’s Director-character Buddy’s line, from Blazing Saddles, immediately comes to my mind, “Sounds like steam escaping”.
I ask for help with the kimonos and he “sashays” over to the kimono section.

The following is our conversation:
ME: Do the silk kimonos come in various sizes?
HIM: No, it’s only one size. Do you want to see the length?
ME: Sure. I’m interested in this one.
He takes the kimono off the wall.
HIM: Is this for a man or a woman?
ME: [Thinking to myself] Why would he ask that? Aren’t these all women’s kimonos?
ME: It’s for a woman.
HIM: [Sounding disappointed] Hmmm.
HIM: How tall is she? Is she taller than me?
ME: No, she’s just a little shorter than you.
HIM: [All excited] I’ll try it on!
He proceeds to slip on the silk kimono.
HIM: What do you think?
ME: [Being a wise-ass] It looks good on you.
The above was clearly “Lost in Translation” or he just didn’t care.
HIM: I know. I love silk against my body.
He’s rubbing the sleeves against his arms.
HIM: Do you want it?
ME: I’ll take it.
I pause and thinking more about his comment, I clarify
ME: Yes, I’ll take “the kimono”.
He continues to rub the kimono against his body.
ME: I think I’ll take this one here [as I proceed to take a different one of the wall] Thanks for the help.
HIM: [Sounding disappointed again] Okay.

You gotta love Harajuku.